sustain:if:able kiwi

making it look easy!

I am on study leave, huddled in a library corner, avoiding the distractions of my normal work offices, trying to find some connections between head and fingers. Only to read the following:

“nothing can be more time- consuming or effortful than the work required to make a piece of writing seem simple, lucid, and effortless. “ Introduction to the Atonement movie script, by Christopher Hampton.

Probably applies to good sermons, good coffees, good presentations, good children, good church meetings, good meals, good friendships … the list goes on ….

pastoring with a Phd

John Stackhouse has been writing about why do a PhD, and then a fascinating plea for more pastors who do PhD’s and offer a thinking, preaching, pastoral ministry. All of relevance to me, firstly, because I am a pastor with a PhD, who also lectures in a seminary. And secondly, because my seminary (BCNZ) employer has forced me to think about that combination as it affects my future.

Last week I went through the somewhat humiliating process of having to re-apply for my lecturing job and then the relief of being offered that job again. So after all the angst, it is steady as she goes, part-time pastor, part-time lecturer.

It’s given me lots to think about, in terms of how my gift-mix might mix with academy and parish. And caused me to write this on a recent winter’s morning.

“I have much to give thanks for. A pastoral job which gives me sabbaticals – time to reflect, write, think, refresh, pause. A pastoral job which keeps me close to the Bible – reading Biblical text and commentaries. A pastoral job which pushes me – recent sermon series on Old Testament minor prophets and now Deuteronomy have been wonderfully enriching intellectual and spiritual challenge. A pastoral job which people’s me – among real life pain and quest and hunger and connection. A pastoral job with team – the gifts and passions of Paul and Craig, and Ken and Dierdre, and Lynne and Dave – there’s much goodness in and among. A job with creativity – changing our auditorium space in May, communion last week with the haunting cellist, etc etc. It’s a rich and diverse job, even at 7 a.m. on a winters morning.”

Such are the upsides and so cause me to agree with John, the church needs PhD’s in the pastorate. If I have time and the inkling, I might note some of the negatives.

grounded for study leave

The last 3 weeks have been really disruptive for me – personally and pastorally – made worse by some speaking/consulting commitments that have kept dragging my headspace away.

I really struggle with knowing where to put my time. Sometimes I look at my energy levels and think: “Surely this is not living God’s life to the full.” Yet what would I cut back on – Opawa? blogging? groups and denominations? lecturing?

Yesterday, I trust, marked a turning point. First, an easing of commitments outside Opawa.

Secondly, I handed in my semester marking. This means I am now released into study leave – six months with no BCNZ classroom involvement. Instead I turn my hand to research and writing.

Projects include:
– researching Christ images in film
– researching on relationship between popular culture and work of God’s Spirit, with a particular focus on Luke 10
– turning the leadership coaching teaching course notes I have developed into a missional church book that can be used by leaders anywhere in the world.

For 10 weeks of this time the Taylor family will be in Adelaide, where I am hosted by Parkin-Wesley Collegeand in exchange for some leadership coaching, get the space to write in a different context.

Perhaps the next 6 months will help me discern more clearly the unique shape of my charism.

saving the army

Up to Hamner today, to engage with the Salvation Army South Island “officers” around mission and leadership. I’m taking a friend from church, whom I don’t see enough of, and hoping to have a really good yarn on the way up. Then tomorrow, I am hoping to have a good long relaxing soak in the Hamner hot pools and a forest walk, but this might change things.

balancing one and many

It’s been a really hard week. Personal stuff in my life. Personal stuff in people’s lives.

I work part-time for the church. I juggle preaching, creating mission spaces on the margins, managing a fairly complicated process in a 96 year old church, leading a team (all who are also part-time and all who are also juggling lives).

“Delegate” they cry, but you can’t really delegate a crisis.

So the margins get shaved. Less time for me. Less time for family. Less time for a sermon. It was a week in which Sunday morning got the minimum. I would simply preach.

Suddenly it is Sunday. I look at people as they arrive. I face the consequences of my week and of my decisions. Do these people deserve my minimum? So many faces, so much complexity. How to word a child dedication amid child crisis? How to speak of joy amid pain? When all I have brought is my minimal offering.

Today, I have no idea how to be pastoral, how to balance the one and the many, how to speak with the clarity that the week demands.

last lecture EVER?

“Dad, today could be your last lecture EVER at Bible College of New Zealand,” my daughter announced from the back of the car. She had put two and two together, the fact that I am on study leave in the coming semester (July 08-Dec 08) with the redundancy/reapplication process that all academic BCNZ staff are going through.

My other daughter, on hearing the news, said that she would be able to help financially by going out to work in 4 years time.

My family is a great family to be part of during turbulent times.

some new friends

I made some new friends today. It was a day off, after a particularly busy weekend — leadership coaching in Auckland on Friday -> then Hamilton on Saturday -> return flight delayed by snow -> hence unexpected overnight, courtesy of Air New Zealand, in Wellington (which allowed us to catch up with my talented brother and sister-in-law) -> dash trying to catch another flight in order to present to lead the Sunday morning church service with perhaps 40 visitors present -> Sunday evening Soak service.

So the local 2nd hand book store called. Then later in the sun, on the back porch, over a cup of tea, I introduced my new friends to the better part of the emergentkiwi partnership.

In case your interested, here are my new friends … (which ends with the questions; How do you nourish your creativity? And what disciplines do you practise that invite the voice of the other to your table?

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welcome to

any wee scotties, i.e church leaders throughout Scotland.

I am lead to believe that my blog was named as a e-news resource by the Mission and Discipleship Council, an ecumenical grouping resourcing church leaders throughout Scotland.

So welcome. The Taylor family have very fond memories of our 3 month sojourn in Scotland in 2001, while I was on study leave, working on my PhD, eating butties and admiring the rugged Coastlines of Aberdeenshire.

giving me a shake

I’ve just been made redundant. From my BCNZ role. As of the end of this year.

Along with all BCNZ academic staff, who are then invited to reapply for jobs over the next month.

I work 2 days week at BCNZ and 3 days week at Opawa and we as a family are pretty settled. So this news is giving my roots a good old shake. As part of the BCNZ process I am invited to articulate my long term career plans. Here is what I wrote:

Long term, I want to be part of a missional think tank, that provides formation of leaders and offers research, teaching and consultancy in Western missiology. To that dream I bring being a published author, with a PhD and some academic publications, a leadership track record of planting emerging churches and as a change agent pastor in established churches, along with experience in denominational consultancy.

I thought I’d put it here, because I’m facing partial unemployment.

flight of the emerging

Kiwi duo Flight of the Concords 1st album has debuted at No. 3 in US charts. Best ever preformance by a Kiwi band, including Crowded House. I love Flight of Concords. Got the DVD for my most recent birthday.

Note to self: re-release my Out of Bounds Church book? as an album. Call it Flight of the Emerging. Fuse with Youtube comedy show titled NZOOMA, of struggling New Zealand author, living in Christchurch New Zealand, trying to make it in New York, battling emergentTM franchise club owners and trendy missional public. Find myself some Rob Bell glasses and add a Dan Kimball comb over (more to comb than Paggitt or TSK though!). Hoping like hell that everyone who reads this note to self has a good sense of humour.

beyond bands and beyond stations

I’ve been thinking about worship this week. I’m feeling stuck in a loop that goes like this:

Most contemporary church worship I experience simply invites me to sing songs. Up the band comes, away they play and down I sit. I’m tired of this limited vista.

Most alt.worship I experience invites me into stations. Out comes the art, in comes the creativity and down I sit. I’m tired of the individuality of it all. Me in my small experience.

At least when you sing, it’s corporate. At least when you sing, it invites you out of your head and into your intuition and emotion.

So here’s the question that’s bugging me: what are ways that we might connect with God that are corporate and non-rational, that are NOT sung worship?

Updated: Here’s the current list … please add more in comments

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1 + 1 + 1 = ?

Fact 1: In the rush to the airport last Saturday, to catch a flight back to my home in Christchurch, my overnite bag was left in a friends car in Auckland. It included my alarm clock.

Fact 2: While waiting for the bag to be returned, I decided to use the alarm on my cell phone.

Fact 3: I received a text on my cell phone while at a gathering on Wednesday night. To avoid disturbing the gathering, I simply turned down the sound on my cell phone.

Fact 4: Needing to rise at 5:30 am today to catch a plane to Wellington to speak …

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resurrection door kicker

Jesus, door kicker, strides out the tomb
hinges swinging
door banging
in Spirit’s breeze

Jesus, walks our world,
loving on sandy beach, gathering on grassy knoll,
calling “Followers, to me”

If you walk away, will we follow?

Church,
inside 4 walls,
contains, confines,
holds, hoards
doctrine?

Or

Church,
jogging through city street,
laughing, listening,
stretching through house and home,

Til Kingdom come

easter workloads

Fascinating Easter workload reflection from here.

Until this year I had thought that the intensity of Holy Week came from the business involved, but this year has made we wonder in a positive way.

So far I feel very little different than previous years – which perhaps indicates that the intensity comes from the experience rather than the work-load

Easter simply wipes me out and the week after is really hard work. This year we paused our Easter Journey, yet I am still wasted. Is it just church leaders? Does Easter take an emotional toll on worship participants?